COVID-19 City Tales: Mississipi. “I was scared of running out of distractions from the meaninglessness of life. Either that void is smaller than I thought, or I still haven’t run out of things to search online”.

Carmen Sanchis-Sinisterra, 48, Professor at the University of Mississippi (Olemiss). Self-isolated since March 15th

Firstly, can you let me know if you are self-isolated or quarantined?

I’ve been self-isolated since Sunday, March 15th

Are you spending it alone or with company?

I’m alone.

How are you coping with confinement?

My basic tool to cope with confinement is to avoid self-criticism. It’s good if I work out and good if I don’t. It’s ok if I eat 2 mini Blue Bunny cones or 4, or 6. No transgression is going to be so life-defining. It’s ok not to be ok and, the next day will, probably, be better.

Describe the area where you live. Did you know your neighbours much before this happened? Has your relationship changed since this started?

When you move to ”small-town America,” social distancing comes in the package with the need for a car and the lack of sidewalks. American culture is very friendly and polite, but closeness — the one that evolves into friendship — is difficult.

The aspiration here is to own a house surrounded by a yard, with, if possible, a double door garage. My income as an Assistant Professor at the flagship University in the state of Mississippi doesn’t allow it. I live in a sort of apartment complex with other individuals — mostly students — and families — mainly black families — who, I assume, cannot afford a bigger place. My contact with the few ones I regularly encounter doesn’t go beyond hi and bye, how’re you doing I’m doing fine.

I like the silence that comes with this kind of urban arrangement.

My apartment is surrounded by trees. There are so many and they are so close that all sorts of bugs show up inside my house from time to time. I’ve had two ladybug infestations already. The area is next to a trail in the woods, without taking my car I can be walking on the dirt, and lamenting not being able to distinguish one tree from the other. These days the woods are uncomfortably packed with other individuals running or taking walks.

What was the last thing you did before isolating?

The last thing I did was to go to a coffee shop to work. The university was on Spring Break and there were very few people. I used to go there three or four times a week. Since the quarantine, I’ve been trying to replicate their iced coffee — or just any decent form of coffee — unsuccessfully.

Do you miss the outdoors?

I don’t miss the outdoors because I can go out and take walks. Mississippi is humid and green, I suspect that anything grows here. I have an imposing magnolia tree right outside my door and there’s the beautiful trail that I can access without the need for my car. When it’s too packed I drive 3 minutes to the university campus, I park my car and walk there. It’s enormous and I’ve been exploring areas that I had never been too. I discovered a Confederate cemetery, an abandoned mini housing complex built in the 60’s and some very cute corners.

Do you agree with the way your Government has handled the crisis? What would you change?

I religiously follow the briefings from the Spanish government, the governor or New York and the White House; and I’m very obedient to the orders of the mayor of my town.

It pains me deeply to hear governments ignore the most vulnerable populations. In particular, in the US case, undocumented immigrants are not only left behind, they are treated as scapegoats. There’s a clear strategy in the US government to take advantage of this crisis to, among other atrocities, spread the hatred towards the undocumented immigrant other.

Do you think this will have positive consequences as well?

Unless the catastrophe is of epic proportions, I doubt that there will be any positive short term social change. However, one more seed in the awareness of the wrongs of wild capitalism has been planted. Many more are seeing for the first time the outrageousness of the neoliberal model.

Lastly, tell me something new you’ve learnt about yourself during isolation.

Due to a lifetime struggle with depression and anxiety I was convinced that I couldn’t stay home alone during the afternoons and early evenings. I feared the empty space and the empty hours, in the same way I feared facing the void inside myself; which probably means that I was scared of running out of distractions from the meaninglessness of life.

Either that void is smaller than I thought, or I still haven’t run out of things to search online